Archive for October, 2010

By Any Other Name

Monday, October 25th, 2010

People often ask us how we chose Maddox as a name. It’s actually a very simple and boring story: We went through every single name on a baby name website, starting with A. And we didn’t agree on a single one until Maddox. I don’t know why, but we both loved it. We found out it was a celebrity baby’s name, but that celebrity also happened to be in one of my favorite movies of all time, Hackers, so I took that as a good sign.

I of course googled the name Maddox Heller first to make sure we were clear on that front, and actually found dozens of pages of matches. But they ended up all being about a fictional character in some steamy romance novel. I just found that pretty funny, so no problems there.

His middle name, Jae-Sun, is a nod to Leanne’s Korean heritage as well as one of her actual names, Sun. I can’t remember if that was her first name or last name though, and she doesn’t really know either. Hopefully Maddox will never ask.

So his first name is Welsch, his middle name Korean, and his last name German. Somewhat of a mixed identity.

Anyway, we should have realized that his actual name probably didn’t matter much, given our history of names. Besides pet names for each other (an embarrassingly long, dizzying list which I will spare anyone reading this as well as Future Maddox), we also have quite an array of names for our cat, Sam (the other one I don’t really like all that much so I didn’t bother with nicknames for him).

No big surprise then that we rarely called Maddox, Maddox. I thought it’d be fun to keep track of all the nicknames we’ve used for him, so here it is:

Driving around Home Depot

  • Mads
  • Madmartigan
  • The Duke, Baby Duke
  • Mardukes
  • Mards, Baby Mards
  • Duke of Mards
  • Blardox
  • Blards
  • Baby Blards
  • Duke of Blards
  • Bardukes
  • Bardukesian
  • Barbie Duke*
  • Artie Duke*
  • Marty Duke
  • Buster Dukes

* I’ve been banned from using these nicknames, the first because it sounds like a girl’s name, the second because it’s the name of the kid in the wheelchair in that show Glee and Leanne worries I’m tempting fate.

A Cry for Help

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

Shhhh … I don’t have much time to talk … he might come running around the corner at any second.

It’s Maddox. He … he hits us. When we don’t make his food fast enough, or if we have to close the refrigerator door because he’s had it open for three minutes rearranging dressings, or when we ask him to please stop bludgeoning the cat with his trucks. He winds up that adorable little baby hand of his and flings it around with abandon.

Oh no! I think he sees me!


Well, not all Maddox updates can be made of cotton candy and happy rainbows. Maddox is currently going through what we’ve described as the HULK SMASH phase, where he’s decided the best solution to, well, any problem whatsoever is to hit it. And often, that problem is us.

The problem usually relates to food: No matter how much we practice our knife skills or microwave his food on the highest setting, it isn’t fast enough. As soon as he sees his food come out, he wants it NOW, and he’s not afraid to show you his feelings about the matter by slapping you on the back of your calf repeatedly.

It’s not just reactionary hits like that either. Sometimes he’ll be all the way across the room, decorating the wall with his crayon, when you’ll ask him to stop. He’ll turn around, pull his hand back, and bee line towards you, yelling his baby battle cry, until he reaches you and unleashes the pain (and by pain I mean very slight discomfort, I mean come on he’s probably 0.5% muscle mass). Unless you manage to dissuade him halfway through his charge, in which case he’ll usually stop and roll his eyes at you. I’m not sure which is worse.

Apparently this is just one of the many wonderful examples of the terrible two’s, which we’ve found can actually be the terrible-sixteen-months-to-three-years. So it’s something we’re working through by being consistent with our discipline (telling him no, explaining why, and sitting with him in a “time out” as we do so) that will hopefully improve with him. As long as he doesn’t perfect that right hook he’s been working on, I think we’ll be ok.